I’m exhausted. You’d think I just fought the Six Day War. I don’t understand it. My people did so well in the desert… they wandered for 40 years. I only went for four hours and I think I need a blood transfusion. Jews and the Desert, it’s supposed to be a match made in heaven… all I did was go to Palm Springs and I think I want to kill myself. I’m old. I don’t look old. But I’m old. How do I know? The people I went to high school with are moving into nursing homes. That’s an indication Read more...

Sat down to check my schedule for the week. 14th, nothing. 15th, taxes…done and filed months ago. 16th. My eyes froze on the date… all it said was “Linda 2008”. How could it be six years already? How could someone I loved so dearly be gone six whole years? Yet, she is and as I write this my heart feels a little heavier, a little sadder, a little less full. But it’s a little happier because I carry her memory with me where ever I go. She wasn’t a girlfriend. She was older than I. She wasn’t a relative but I’ve Read more...

It’s every American’s duty to serve on a jury. It is our civic pride which gives us the honor to sit in judgment of another citizen. And I am here to tell you… do everything in your power to get out of it… it’s a fucking nightmare. Here’s how it starts. You’re having a wonderful day, the sun is shining, the flowers are in bloom, a cool breeze is blowing through your garden and the postman drives up to your house. He’s got an evil grin on his face… it’s “Ha HA!!!!! This is for not tipping me last Christmas.” Read more...

GOOD DAYS AND BAD It started at 8 a.m. The phone rang, it was Roz Kind. “Your joke got a huge laugh.” And then she goes on to tell me how the joke that I gave her for her act worked and how wonderful her gig in New York City is going and that she got rave reviews and that everyone has been so wonderful to her. And my response was, “it’s about time.” So that started the day off beautifully… was so happy for her. (And for me, love it when a joke I write gets a huge laugh.) Later in Read more...

Ok,so the web master called and gave me the instructions... ya push this button here, ya click that, ya go over there, then you log the meta information and ya press send. And steam came out of each ear like I was Roger Rabbit. My eyes rolled back in my head and my tongue hit the desk. You see, I'm dyslexic. The information goes in and then that voice that you hear inside your head... it starts screaming... WHAT ARE YOU DOING.... YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.... YOU'RE A MORON.... YOU'LL NEVER GET THIS RIGHT... and the whole thing shuts down like Read more...