Mother's Day 2014

Mother's Day 2014

Mother's Day 2014

It’s Mother’s Day today and I am filled with so many emotions. First, gratitude for all the great mothers in my life… Hope, Mary, Wendy,Dori, Sue, Lynne, Vicki, Linda, Lois, Nona, Marlene, Sandy, Redenta, Carol, Heidi, Sheila… and on and on. They are the standard that the rest are held up to… the good ones… the ones who gave love in a way that it nurtured and produced incredible gifts with purchase… as I call the children they gave us.
I’m also filled with great sadness that Kate’s kids are missing their mother this Mother’s Day, only a few days after her passing. Life can be so cruel… but to lose a mother so close to Mother’s Day is like adding insult to injury. Now I know Kate, she would say, “Get over it, darling, life’s too short.” But it’s going to take all of us a little time to get over missing our wonderful Kate.
And I’m filled with a little happiness. The monkey on my back, the one I thought I’d never be able to get off… it’s gone. I can finally forgive and moved on. It came with a lot of work and a conversation I had with a wonderful man in Boston…who literally changed my life with a one-hour conversation. It was one of those conversations that not only opened my eyes but confirmed my thoughts. It freed me. It allowed me to love because he absolutely convinced me that I was not crazy, that it was not me, that I had been right all these years. Talk about a gift! This man gave me a mega-gift.
And this Mother’s Day comes with memories… of Mother’s Days past, of friends no longer with me, of happier times and sadder times. It comes with gratitude for the friends I have remaining and the relationships I have nurtured. It comes with honesty and with commitment and most of all it comes with love. Whoever thought I would say that on this day? Whoever thought.
Mother’s Day was never a day I looked forward to. Once in a card shop I stood in front of the Mother’s Day cards looking for over 30 minutes. Finally, a salesclerk came up to me, “Can I help you find something. What are you looking for?”, and I replied, “Happy Mother’s Day to a crappy mother.” “Oh dear, we don’t have any of those… those are the cards you wish you could send… but instead you send this one.” And she reached into the shelves of cards and without looking pulled out the first card she touched. It said, “Happy mother’s day to a wonderful Mom.” And inside something like “For all the time times you were there… for all the love you made… for all the guidance you gave… for making me a better person. This card is for you.” I read it. Looked at the lady and said, “Perfect”. She laughed out loud and put her arm through mine as she walked me to the cash register. “You’ll be a lot happier sending this one.”
Yep, I’m glad I never have to do that again. I’m glad I never have to be disappointed again on Mother’s Day. Today I can send those cards with a clear conscience and I can mean it. Surrender is not bad thing, it’s a means to an end. It’s a way to save your sanity. It’s knowing you’ve been right all these years and don’t have to feel guilty anymore. Surrender, I have learned is a good thing… a very good thing.
And so on this Mother’s Day when I’m so grateful for all the loving women who have been put in my life, I say Happy Mother’s Day to one and all. I say God, I wish Kate had been here for one more Mother’s Day, one more Christmas, one more Thanksgiving. But she’s not and we, who loved her, will move on. You see, surrender works in all areas of your life…. forgiving a mother or grieving a friend. No matter what the issue is, surrender is not defeat. I’m having t-shirts printed with that saying on it. “SURRENDER IS NOT DEFEAT”. $14.99 plus shipping and handling… free with the purchase of 10 books or more.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY
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